when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
