Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
