drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
