Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
