The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
