Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
