There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
