HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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