i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
