lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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