I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
