He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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