Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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