True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
