Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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