Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
