You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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