I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
