u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
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I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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