my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
