Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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