This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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