you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
