the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
