How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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