I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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