____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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