you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
