Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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