Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
NoShamevember. You game?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I pour the whiskey from now on
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
