Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
