Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
