Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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