Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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