if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
