I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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