You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
