as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
