She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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