Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
