She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
