I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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