I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
