laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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