Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
