I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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