Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
