Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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