I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
