im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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