can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
