How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
