Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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