I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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