You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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