So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
