I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
