Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
