Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize